Year Old Easter Peeps.

8:05 PM – Sorry about being a little late, I had to find where I had misplaced the year old  peeps, but never fear! They have been found and I am taking the plastic off the box. They don’t seem to be overly hard. All the purple sugar seems intact, and pulling one away from the others reveals the marshallowiness to not be all that sticky and to be a very light green color (I’m guessing the color is the way it is supposed to be. I hope)

8:10 – One Peep eaten! It has some tackiness to it but isn’t sticky. Less sweet than the fresh ones, and is signifcantly less fluffy, but still fairly soft.

8:16 – Half the box down, and my teeth are starting to hurt from the sugar, so I’m gonna take a brake. These Peeps are really no worse than the fresh peeps that I let sit out unwrapped overnight last week. Do Peeps have a maximum staleness? Who knows? Back later when the whole box has been downed.

8:26 –  2 more to go. Just looked at the expiration date, these fuckers don’t go bad until September of  this year. Y’know how they say the only thing left after the nuclear armegedon will be cockroaches and Twinkies? Peeps will be there, too.

8:31 –  I ATE YEAR OLD EASTER PEEPS AND DIDN’T DIE! WOO!

I Still Love ShamWoW! Guy

Straight from the SmokingGun: ShamWoW! Guy arrested for beating up a hooker.

It isn’t as bad as it sounds, since it seems she started it, they were both drunk, and no charges were filed.

And I mean, who HASN’T gotten drunk and beaten up a hooker?

Yeah, yeah, violence is bad, ect. ect. Stay tuned to for my live bloging my consumption of year old Easter Peeps Sunday March 29 at 8 PM CST!

I have the attention span of a gnat.

I’m assuming that gnat’s don’t have much of an attention span. It doesn’t seem like they would; I mean, they’re all tiny and flit around a lot. Not exactly conducive to concentration, y’know.

Anyway, as a result of having no notable attention span, there are some things that I am just not a fan of. Books more than a couple hundred pages, eleventy billion hour video games,  movies longer than an hour-fourty, and SONGS LONGER THAN 5 MINUTES.

I can give a little leway on the books, because they can be put down and picked up much later, and movies, too, can be paused, which is never a problem for me because oddly enough everyone tends to think the movies I like are boring as hell, so no one will watch them with me. Video games can also be put down, but there’s always issues with reremebering what buttons do what and getting your muscle memory back for a bit after you first re-pick it up, and the kind of games I like just tend to not be eleventy billion hours long. (As I belive I have mentioned, my favorite game is God of War, and it is not unreasonable to sit down one weekend and expect to get through a play-though of it by Monday.(And if you do decide to run out and rent it (or buy it, it’s probably like $20 new by now) this weekend on my recomendation, I’m just gonna say that circle circle triange is your best friend in the world.)). But SONGS. SONGS cannot be paused without messing up the flow. And there is NEVER any reason for them to be over 5 minutes. Hell, much over 4 is REALLY pushing it.

My local radio station, which is a very good rock station that I generally love very much, sometimes gets a mad-on for playing one particular Pantera song. Now, it should be noted that I’m not really a Pantera fan. They’re just not my thing. This does not mean they’re bad, if fact, this probably means that they’re good, because I have an aversion to good music and only listen to absolute shit. (I could expand upon my music philosophy, but that is a whole ‘nother blog post worth of material, and I’m just stating this because I know there’s people out there that would gut me if I talked shit about Dimebag Darrell). But I do hate the song Cemetery Gates. I have a lot of beef with that song, but my main one is that it is apparently 7 minutes long. SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES LONG. And it FEELS like no less than 15.

Now, I have nothing against you if you are a crazy who listens to twenty minute songs. I just think they are hella unnessicary and they annoy the shit out of me when played on the radio.

This entry brough to you by still being awake 3AM, Squirt Citrus Power, and forgetting the point (which may be attributed to the gnat attention span thing). Tune in next time when I may actually be coherent!

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Green beer and corned beef & cabbage for all! Okay, well not for me because I’m not old enough to drink yet (and even if I was, I used all the green food coloring to temp dye my hair for last Halloween, and my dad drinks beer so cheap  that if it were any more generic the cans would just say “BEER” on them. Shit smells awful and I can’t imagine it tasting much better) and I don’t even know what corned beef & cabbage is.

But I ate a potato tonight, that’s totally good enough, right?

Anyway, enjoy the holiday and this Indexed. And while you’re there, read some of the other ones. Indexed is the shiznik for people who like graphs of non-math things.

Yes, that’s right, I totally just used the word “shiznik”.  Oh, and if anyone was wondering, those Dollar Store M&Ms were just fine strangely enough, and I haven’t eaten those year old Peeps yet. Maybe this weekend.

Dollar Store M&Ms

In the great area of the US where I happen to live there are stores known as Dollar Stores, where most things in the store are available for, well, $1. They are possibly the most awesome places ever because you can walk in with a $20 bill, buy 10 sponges, dish liquid, a 2-liter bottle of  pop, a thing to keep the hair out of the bathtub drain, some candy, chips, a wrist support deally, a teeny-tiny Dr. Doom action figure, and some Fantastic Bubblastic Plastic, and walk out with some cash still in your pocket.

The places are usually filled with off-brand stuff, which is why stuff is so cheap. Any name brand stuff is and probably should be met with suspicion.

Well, my mother has returned from the dollar store and presented me with a marshmallow bunny thing (giant off-brand peep), a hollow chocolate bunny (Palmer brand, but Palmer chocolate candy tastes like ass when you pay full price, so there really can’t be anything all that more wrong with it), and some M&Ms.

They appear to be normal, name brand M&Ms chocolate candies. The peanut kind, because they kick the ass of the lame regular ones. The crunchy ones that they probably don’t make anymore were even better though. Anyway, these normal M&Ms appear to have no more deformities than your average M&Ms. Seeing as they were bought at a dollar store, I am scared shitless to eat them.

I think I’m going to eat the Peeps that have been under my bed for a year and see if I still want M&Ms after that…

Woo! Content! As I have linked this blog a few places and might, y’know, get some readers, you can probably expect more of it. Maybe. And yes, I do infact have year old Peeps under my bed, the purple chick kind, all in their plastic wrapped box,  wrapped in another bag. But I probably won’t really eat them tonight. I think that the candy I stuffed in my purse when a teachered offered everyone as much candy as they wanted because she didn’t want to keep it all over spring break should do.

Oh no he didn’t! (Another post relating to the ShamWOW! Guy)

Billy Mays calls out ShawWOW! Guy

Okay, so you all know of my fondness for the ShamWOW! Guy, so I would consider this almost a personal insult. I would, if I didn’t know that ShamWOW! Guy would KICK ASS! I mean, what is Billy thinking?

Wouldn’t it be better for him to at least get warmed up by challenging someone else first? Maybe pick a fight with with Tony Little for no reason whatsoever? Or you know, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Chef Tony hawking a imitator Quick-chop or whatever the fuck its called when not trying to sell me a nice set of knives; maybe go after him? I mean, I know Billy’s a big dog, but he’s gonna go DOWN.

Let us look at this lovely ShamWOW! promotional image with bonus hilarious caption by somebody over at roflrazzi:

Do you want to eff with that guy? Do you? I know I sure as hell wouldn’t want to.

No body even remembers the Zorbee, Billy.  ShamWOW! is where it’s at now, man. Go back to screaming at me about OxiClean and OrangeGlo and Mighty Putty and whatever other shit that doesn’t really work you’re still selling these days, old man. No one can touch the ShamWOW! Guy.

Yes, I’m back from my long mysterious absence. No, I won’t be talking about it. Yes, I will be posting more. I have a series of posts about my trash can lined up for just as soon as I can find my digital camera. Seriously. Oh, and I really have nothing against Billy Mays (other than first hand experience with the products he sells being made of LIES), Vince is just better.

Going all political on ya for just a sec

Okay. Like every other blogger on the freaking internets, I’m gonna say something about the new President of the United States.

I really didn’t think we could do it. I did not think we were ready. Maybe someday, but not yet, I thought. But it seems we are. We did it.

Barack Hussein Obama is the new President of the United States.

Since a little after noon today, I’ve had AMERICA – FUCK YEAH! stuck in my head. It’s a good feeling. It’s a really good feeling.

I would, however, like to take this opportunity to inform everyone that OBAMA IS NOT JESUS CHRIST.

Seriously people, I know there’s some similarities. Both are well liked, have some pretty good ideas, are charismatic as fuck, and their respective fanclubs are both annoying the shit out of me.

Oh, and he isn’t the Anti-Christ either. See this Cracked article for more information.

I still don’t think that we’re all really ready. I give it 3 months before we have President Biden. But by god, I hope we all get to the end of March and I have to admit I’m wrong.

Today was a good day. It all feels different already. It feels good.

We will now return you to your regularly scheduled irreverent discussion of meaningless shit you don’t  care about. Tomorrow, after this moderate cries a bit and goes to bed just like she did on November 4th.

WTF Google, WTF?

Y’know that little icon that appears next to the page title in your bookmarks and the URL in the address bar? Apparently that thing is called a favicon. Who knew?

Anyway, Google changed theirs. They changed it to this ugly monstrosity:

Look at that! Look at that thing! What is wrong with it? How do I make it go away? What possessed Google to do such a thing ? WHYYYYY?!?!?!?!?

People who are not me tend to like Google. I think they may be both God and Satan (I also think that about Microsoft. I guess I’m a polytheist), and I’m leaning a bit towards Satan. I mean, there’s a reason I’m not using Blogger. (That reason being I’m not terribly fond of Google as a whole, even though I did quite like the easy coustomization when I briefly used it for something else once).

I already quit using GMail some time ago because it sucks (I can’t find anything when I tag it. I’m a boring file system sort of person, and I fit better with every other web mail system ever designed), and don’t click ads (if something has to advertize to me, I probably don’t want it, and if I do, I’ll try to find an alternitive to it that didn’t annoy me by being an advertizement), but now, until the fugly monstrosity of a favicon meets its demise, I’m not using Google.

Hello again, Ask.com, old friend. I have hopes you will be as good to me now as you once were.

T-G-I-MFing-F

I’m not gonna emo all over my shiny new blog, but I have to say that if pretty much everyone who isn’t me dropped dead right now, I wouldn’t be entirely saddened. It makes me think of a song by a sort of obscure band I like.

Quick related story: Once upon a time, I was flicking through channels on a Friday night/technically really early Saturday morning and I had finally bothered to pop up the nifty little guide thing. So I was just reading the title of shows until I saw something that looked like it didn’t suck ass when I saw a show called “Frisky Dingo”. Now, if you were just flicking through channels and saw that a show called “Frisky Dingo” was on, you’d turn it on just to find out what sort of weird ass show was titled Frisky Dingo, wouldn’t you? Well, even if you wouldn’t, I would and did and found out that Frisky Dingo is was (FUCK) a HILARIOUS cartoon on Cartoon Network’s [adult swim]. The theme song for a couple of the episodes was a great song, “Lightning Bolt” by Attractive Eighties Women. And that’s how I discovered Attractive Eighties Women.

(Sadness: In grabbing links for this entry, I’ve learned that the people who make Frisky Dingo have moved on and there will be no season 3 (and the spin off, The Xtacles has also been canceled. Sad boosh))

Anyway: Attractive Eighties Women is an awesome, very funny band and you should listen too it. I had a better shpeel, but then I wrote the story of how I discovered AeW and now I’m kinda sad. And the song I was referring to was “Gonna Throw a Party When You Die”. I’m also fond of “Master Cylinder” and “They Shoot Hipsters, Don’t They?”

My day/week was really kinda sucky, but this post was almost entirely to pimp AeW and Frisky Dingo (although I’m too fucking late for Frisky Dingo dammit. Sad-fucking-boosh). I just took the opening and ran with it.

Well, I still haven’t fallen through a glitched wall yet (Or more Sonic Unleashed)

I had a huge inner debate on what to call this entry, but “Well, I still haven’t fallen through a glitched wall yet” finally won out over “I can’t believe it’s not God of War!” , “Puzzles, and button press sequences, and crappy camera, oh my!”  “No, I am not fast enough to dodge this, you asshole”  and  “Can I kill the little fairy thing? I mean, you got to throw Omichao off a cliff in SA2…”

Anyway: