Archive for the let me show you my obsession Category

Oh no he didn’t! (Another post relating to the ShamWOW! Guy)

Posted in less than three, let me show you my obsession with tags , on February 15, 2009 by DSC

Billy Mays calls out ShawWOW! Guy

Okay, so you all know of my fondness for the ShamWOW! Guy, so I would consider this almost a personal insult. I would, if I didn’t know that ShamWOW! Guy would KICK ASS! I mean, what is Billy thinking?

Wouldn’t it be better for him to at least get warmed up by challenging someone else first? Maybe pick a fight with with Tony Little for no reason whatsoever? Or you know, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Chef Tony hawking a imitator Quick-chop or whatever the fuck its called when not trying to sell me a nice set of knives; maybe go after him? I mean, I know Billy’s a big dog, but he’s gonna go DOWN.

Let us look at this lovely ShamWOW! promotional image with bonus hilarious caption by somebody over at roflrazzi:

Do you want to eff with that guy? Do you? I know I sure as hell wouldn’t want to.

No body even remembers the Zorbee, Billy.  ShamWOW! is where it’s at now, man. Go back to screaming at me about OxiClean and OrangeGlo and Mighty Putty and whatever other shit that doesn’t really work you’re still selling these days, old man. No one can touch the ShamWOW! Guy.

Yes, I’m back from my long mysterious absence. No, I won’t be talking about it. Yes, I will be posting more. I have a series of posts about my trash can lined up for just as soon as I can find my digital camera. Seriously. Oh, and I really have nothing against Billy Mays (other than first hand experience with the products he sells being made of LIES), Vince is just better.

And you thought OmiChao was annoying (Or 20 minutes of playing Sonic Unleashed)

Posted in let me show you my obsession, this probably explains a lot, video games with tags , , on January 7, 2009 by DSC

Let me preface this review thing with some general background about me:

I was practically born with a controler in my hand, and the first game I remember playing is Sonic the Hedgehog 2 for Sega Genesis. Sonic 2 is probably my favorite game ever, followed fairly closely by Sonic Adventure. If it is a Sonic game on a console that isn’t the Wii (which I will never play for various reasons that I may explain at a later date), I’ve probably played it (though possibly ported onto another system).

I go into every new Sonic game WANTING to love it. As any fan of the Sonic series will tell you, the recent games have been… disapointing, to say the least. 2006’s Sonic the Hedgehog was a festering pile of shit, my least favorite game ever, and I’ve never actually finished the first level. It was even worse than Sonic Heroes, which was pretty goddamn shitty.

There’s a lot to be said about the Sonic games and their progression. I could go on for a really long time about it, but I think it is summarized quite well in the Zero Punctuation Sonic Unleashed review. That vid actually pretty much sums up what I thought of the game myself (I don’t think it tainted my thoughts, as I bought the game anyway after veiwing it, wanting to love it after playing the demo), and I wanted an excuse to link people (there are people reading this, right?) to it, as I was linked to it myself just a few days ago, watched them all and thought they were briliant.

Even though that vid pretty much explains my thoughts, I’m going to write my thoughts down anyway. Continue reading

I want to have ShamWOW! Guy’s babies.

Posted in less than three, let me show you my obsession, this probably explains a lot with tags , , , on January 4, 2009 by DSC

Everyone and their mother has seen the commercial for ShamWOW! (and if you haven’t you are slow, and I take pitty on you. Watch it now! (vid will open in a new window)), which quite frankly sounds a bit more SHAM than WOW!, but I don’t own one, so what do I know?

Anyway, the commercial, although annoyingly long, is FUCKING AWESOME. No correction, the commercial is just annoyingly long and standard wonder-product  fare; the GUY is FUCKING AWESOME!

The sheer enthusiasm exuded by ShamWOW! guy, well, it doesn’t quite make me want to buy as ShamWOW!, but I’m some sort of miserly freak that tends to round up and add one to a price, and has a spending limit of $20 for pretty much anything that one could ever expect to find for $20, and will have an internal debate for an hour to decide if what I want for over $20 is really worth having for anything that you couldn’t, but I’m sure it made normal people want to buy ShamWOW!s out the ass.

And the HEADSET. I love that headset.  Whenever I see the ShamWOW! commercial, I’m all, “WTF? Why does he need a headset? WTF is up with that? I mean seriously?” and LOL heartily. I think I want to have that headset’s babies more than the guy’s.

That’s not all, folks! In addition to the fabulous ShamWOW! commercial, ShamWOW! Guy has done another wonder-product commercial for the SlapChop!

Go ahead, click that link and watch the awesome; I’ll wait. … Was that not kick ass?!? It was and you know it. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly a lying lier who lies a lot.

Much like the ShamWOW! commercial, it was annoyingly long and standard wonder-product fare, but ShamWOW! Guy and his enthusiasm are back with a vengeance. And some nice double entendres. And that headset. I really love that headset.

Also,  that over the shoulder throw into the sink was BAD ASS.

ShamWOW! Guy needs to become the next Billy Mays. I want full half-hour infomercials that will be played at ungodly hours of the morning and whenever there’s nothing good to watch on sleepy Sunday afternoons for years to come starring this guy. I want him to invent some sort of gadget and pimp it out Ron-fucking-Popeil style. I want to bear him children (not like, raise them or anything, ’cause I hate kids; or screw him to get into the condition required to have his children ’cause he’s creepy looking; but definitely pop out a couple to ensure his genes are spread). ShamWOW! Guy is just fucking awesome.

I ❤ ShamWOW! Guy.

For anyone who cares, ShamWOW! Guy’s name is apparently Vince Offer, and after reading the wiki article, I’m thinking he’s more slightly batshit insane than he comes across (which is saying something).

Also, I feel I should  probably link to the ShamWOW! and SlapChop sites after I have mentioned them so much (Well, I only mentioned SlapChop once, but “ShamWOW!” appears in the post 15 times and there’s only 510ish words in the whole thing) although I’m not affiliated with them in any way.