Archive for the probably more than you needed to know Category

I have the attention span of a gnat.

Posted in other crap, probably more than you needed to know, senseless ranting, this probably explains a lot, video games with tags , , , on March 20, 2009 by DSC

I’m assuming that gnat’s don’t have much of an attention span. It doesn’t seem like they would; I mean, they’re all tiny and flit around a lot. Not exactly conducive to concentration, y’know.

Anyway, as a result of having no notable attention span, there are some things that I am just not a fan of. Books more than a couple hundred pages, eleventy billion hour video games,  movies longer than an hour-fourty, and SONGS LONGER THAN 5 MINUTES.

I can give a little leway on the books, because they can be put down and picked up much later, and movies, too, can be paused, which is never a problem for me because oddly enough everyone tends to think the movies I like are boring as hell, so no one will watch them with me. Video games can also be put down, but there’s always issues with reremebering what buttons do what and getting your muscle memory back for a bit after you first re-pick it up, and the kind of games I like just tend to not be eleventy billion hours long. (As I belive I have mentioned, my favorite game is God of War, and it is not unreasonable to sit down one weekend and expect to get through a play-though of it by Monday.(And if you do decide to run out and rent it (or buy it, it’s probably like $20 new by now) this weekend on my recomendation, I’m just gonna say that circle circle triange is your best friend in the world.)). But SONGS. SONGS cannot be paused without messing up the flow. And there is NEVER any reason for them to be over 5 minutes. Hell, much over 4 is REALLY pushing it.

My local radio station, which is a very good rock station that I generally love very much, sometimes gets a mad-on for playing one particular Pantera song. Now, it should be noted that I’m not really a Pantera fan. They’re just not my thing. This does not mean they’re bad, if fact, this probably means that they’re good, because I have an aversion to good music and only listen to absolute shit. (I could expand upon my music philosophy, but that is a whole ‘nother blog post worth of material, and I’m just stating this because I know there’s people out there that would gut me if I talked shit about Dimebag Darrell). But I do hate the song Cemetery Gates. I have a lot of beef with that song, but my main one is that it is apparently 7 minutes long. SEVEN FUCKING MINUTES LONG. And it FEELS like no less than 15.

Now, I have nothing against you if you are a crazy who listens to twenty minute songs. I just think they are hella unnessicary and they annoy the shit out of me when played on the radio.

This entry brough to you by still being awake 3AM, Squirt Citrus Power, and forgetting the point (which may be attributed to the gnat attention span thing). Tune in next time when I may actually be coherent!

Of Dinos and Chairs

Posted in of dinosaurs and chairs, pretentious shit, probably more than you needed to know, this probably explains a lot on January 3, 2009 by DSC

You’re probably wondering what sort of content a blog has with a name like “Dinosaurs Sexing Chairs” contains. Well, I can’t tell you that because I’m not even sure of that myself. I’m guessing it’ll be a random collection of shit I personally find interesting at the moment spewed forth for public view. Links, reviews of random stuff, my occasional shitty attempts at web comics,  stuff like that, likely with my usual sprinkling of vulgarities and choppy sentence structure.

Although I can’t tell you the content, I can tell you the origins of the… unique… name.

Some time ago, I was watching late night television. A comedian whose name I can no longer remember made a joke about porn site popups and how horrible it would be if you were found dead infront of your computer after getting caught up in a pornado and the website on the screen was something really freaky, like dinosaurs having sex with chairs. The mental image of a dinosaur fucking dining room chair that formed in my mind stuck with me, and as I discovered the internet all it became a personal symbol for all that is good, and right, and wrong, and horrible, and wonderful about the internet.

I’d like this blog to contain bits of what is good, right, wrong, horible, and wonderful about the internet.

God, that sounded fucking pretentous.